Sunday, April 10, 2011
My Fantasy Porn Scenes that Need to Get Shot!!!!!!
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Monday, March 21, 2011
The Best HAIR in Porn - The Top 7
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Thursday, March 17, 2011
How to behave properly in the men's bathroom at work
Hello gang! I know I said I was going to do a good job of keeping my blog updated, but what are you doing to do? I’ll try to do better, but it would help me if some of you ladies wanted to encourage me with an incentive, like a blow job per blog. If you are interested in blowing me for the sake of hysterical reading material, call me!
Onto a really disturbing subject, well at least for us men – Public Bathroom Etiquette. Guys, we need to learn what is and is not acceptable in the shitter room at work.
Ladies – this is a post about what happens in the men’s bathroom. I am in denial that women ever have to shit. I don’t want to think about hot babes pinching loafs, so bear with me and just laugh at how stupid guys are.
#1 – Talking to other guys in the bathroom.
Here is the official rule. If you are in the “lobby area” of the bathroom (the area outside of the stalls) or at the sinks, it is perfectly fine to acknowledge a fellow bathroom attendee. But once you enter the stall, conversation ends! I do not want to sit with my pants at my ankles and talk to other guys with their pants at their ankles. When you willie is out around other grown men, I don’t want to hear your voice or acknowledge you. Not only can I not piss with a dude talking to me, it just gives me the heebies jeebies. No talking while in the stalls!
#2 – Masturbation
Ok, guys go to the bathroom every day and jerk off. If asked we will deny it to the bitter end, but we all do it. All of us. No exceptions. And ladies, your coworker men are thinking about YOU when they are whacking off. Just letting you know.
It is especially important to observe rule #1 while spanking the sausage in the bathroom. While I am deep in Isis Love fantasy mode, the last thing I want to hear is some dude talking about some boring meeting he just sat through. It’s a complete buzz kill. If someone asks me “How’s it hanging Billy?” while I am in the stall, I simply say “It’s not hanging Joe. It’s rock hard and I am stroking it while I think about how I fucked your wife last week.” That usually shuts them up.
The key to proper public bathroom masturbation is to be a ninja. You want to be as stealth as possible. You can make all of the contorted faces that you need to as long as your legs are still and there is no sound coming from the general cock area. Make sure to control all grunting, or the guy sitting 3 feet from you will know that you are tugging the tight rope. You need to be a cock stroking mime, except you don’t just pretend to pull the rope.
So guys, don’t talk to me when my pants are around my ankles. When I am in the can, I am not interested in witty banter or stories about your ugly kids. Just met me shit and jerk off in Privacy!
Thank you!
Onto a really disturbing subject, well at least for us men – Public Bathroom Etiquette. Guys, we need to learn what is and is not acceptable in the shitter room at work.
Ladies – this is a post about what happens in the men’s bathroom. I am in denial that women ever have to shit. I don’t want to think about hot babes pinching loafs, so bear with me and just laugh at how stupid guys are.
#1 – Talking to other guys in the bathroom.
Here is the official rule. If you are in the “lobby area” of the bathroom (the area outside of the stalls) or at the sinks, it is perfectly fine to acknowledge a fellow bathroom attendee. But once you enter the stall, conversation ends! I do not want to sit with my pants at my ankles and talk to other guys with their pants at their ankles. When you willie is out around other grown men, I don’t want to hear your voice or acknowledge you. Not only can I not piss with a dude talking to me, it just gives me the heebies jeebies. No talking while in the stalls!
#2 – Masturbation
Ok, guys go to the bathroom every day and jerk off. If asked we will deny it to the bitter end, but we all do it. All of us. No exceptions. And ladies, your coworker men are thinking about YOU when they are whacking off. Just letting you know.
It is especially important to observe rule #1 while spanking the sausage in the bathroom. While I am deep in Isis Love fantasy mode, the last thing I want to hear is some dude talking about some boring meeting he just sat through. It’s a complete buzz kill. If someone asks me “How’s it hanging Billy?” while I am in the stall, I simply say “It’s not hanging Joe. It’s rock hard and I am stroking it while I think about how I fucked your wife last week.” That usually shuts them up.
The key to proper public bathroom masturbation is to be a ninja. You want to be as stealth as possible. You can make all of the contorted faces that you need to as long as your legs are still and there is no sound coming from the general cock area. Make sure to control all grunting, or the guy sitting 3 feet from you will know that you are tugging the tight rope. You need to be a cock stroking mime, except you don’t just pretend to pull the rope.
So guys, don’t talk to me when my pants are around my ankles. When I am in the can, I am not interested in witty banter or stories about your ugly kids. Just met me shit and jerk off in Privacy!
Thank you!
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